I know you hate that I have your passwords and I snoop on everything but the truth is that I just love you so much and I’m so afraid that you’ll find someone better and leave me. I know how difficult I am and how bitchy I can be but it’s just that, when you came into my life everything got a little better. With depression, I don’t enjoy anything. And you come around me and colors get bright, the world seems nicer, and I seem like maybe one day I’ll be better. Sometimes i get so afraid that we’re going to end up not working, I make us fight and argue because I’m afraid that we’ll be together for more time and it’ll just be so much worse when you decide to leave me. And you’re so handsome and have so many amazing things and I know you can find a girl with a perfect body, and no mood swings and someone who isn’t so negative.
I just hope that you can see the good in me. That you’ll decide that in worth being honest to, and being faithful to. Because I can promise that I will always be those things to you. I can promise I’ll always love you. I remember when we used to say I love you to the moon and back forever. Well, I think maybe I got stuck on the moon for a while, while you were down on earth. And I want to come back. And I want us to be together and be the couple we used to be. The one that everyone was jealous of and asked if they could come to our wedding. I know we can do it. I just think that maybe we forgot about the people we were 2 years ago and the things we loved. But I want to be your vanner babe, I want to go camping, I want to get drunk and smoke hookah, I want to have sex ten times a day because I can’t stand keeping my hands off of you. And now I’m crying because it’s been so long of forgetting how much I love you. And I’m sorry that this disease is taking over my life, and I think that with your help I can keep it buried and forget what it does to me. I love you. And I want to meet at our spot by the water tower tonight.
10•12•12 to forever. Cause I’m not giving up if you won’t.
People who see the worst sides of me that even scare myself, and decide they still want to be apart of my life are truly special to me.